SO!
I didn't really take the time to think about my new years resolutions up until a few days ago, just been in this weird/nostalgic/comforting/reassuring kind of mood.
First, I guess I'd like to try my hardest to stop smoking cigarettes. It seems like everyone says that, (I know I have a lot as well), but I don't feel like its an addiction as more as it is an enjoyment of smoking. You know? So its HARD.
BUT, I'm all about being healthy this year.
Second, I'm taking out the trash. I'm letting go of all the excess people and things that just bring me down. Some people just change beyond my grasp, and I can't do anything to stop it or help them. I'm done dealing with other peoples childish drama.
Third, I'm tired of being alone. Not even in a relationship type way, but in general. When I first walked in my apartment again I was overwhelmed with this sense of solitude and loneliness. I'm determined to change it, no matter how hard it is to let people in.
Fourth, I'm done trying to chase after guys, and I'm done settling for the first guy thats there for me. It's dumb. Loneliness does not equal feelings for someone.
Fifth, I want to figure out why our generation has become so selfish. Why are we so obsessed with tv shows, facebook, and being tagged in the next picture from the night before? I mean, don't get me wrong I have been sucked in too.....but why? It sucks. It's like we can't even sit around in a room full of friends without being on our phones wondering what the rest of the world is doing.
Being home has opened my eyes again. It has made me appreciate it so much more, but also worried me. Everything about it is just beautiful. The people, the neighborhoods, the houses, the lights, the streets, and the trees. Man, I just can't get over the trees! You don't see trees like that in Chicago everyday. It's mind blowing. But at the same time, with this weather and this solitude its created, I'm not sure what's going to happen. There were times I wished I were back in Chicago, but when I actually get here....I'm alone all over again. It makes me more appreciative of those late nights in the attic, movie nights, sitting around with my family, and laying around on the floor bull shitting with the greatest people in my life. I'm worried about my family, and my friends. It was so good seeing everyone, and I wish I could've spent more time there. Everyone just kind of seems like they're in a funk. I'm blaming it on the weather, the bitching, and the negative vibes spreading. I just hope we can all pull through until spring.
I love you,
Christine
