I couldn't ask for more.

Chicago was amazing. Everything has worked out, and happened all so fast it's crazy. It was like one thing after the other just fell right into place.

Tuesday, after much walking and going in all different directions, we finally came to an Office Max on Fullerton Ave in a shopping center called "Riverfront Mall." I spoke to the general manager there about a transfer and he said he would call my boss and get back to me. The rest of the day consisted of nothing but walking around downtown, enjoying the scenery, and great food. Grant Park had festivities going on all summer, and that day they had a rehearsal for a show they were going to put on later in the week. It was awesome!

These kids were havin a blast. 

LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN BLOODY MARY!  

Wednesday, we walked around neighborhoods Bucktown, Wicker Park, and Wriggleyville. All of these neighborhoods are extroardinary. They're a lot like Midtown and downtown Omaha, (only way cooler of course).They're filled with bars, clubs, music venues, and a lot of shopping. I found this store called "Vintage Underground," where I found a gold capricorn ring. No one ever has capricorn stuff, EVER.....they're always out. I had to buy it. This store was pretty similar to Joe's Collectibles downtown, (only smaller and full of jewelry).  

Afterwards we went back downtown and saw this restaurant they used to have in Lincoln called "The Reagle Beagle." My mom was freakin about it, and said her brother used to go there and hang out all the time. So needless to say, we had to take a picture. They played nothin but 70's and 80's music, and had "Three's Company" playing on the tv's. (I used to LOVE that show!)

The city all lit up!

On Thursday, I had an appointment with a company called "Chicago Apartment Finders." Basically what they do is drive you around and show you different apartments in your price range, and match you up with everything you're looking for. We had an agent named Louie. He was a really cool dude who knew a lot about Chicago and traveled all over the world. (Even to Egypt and Jerusalem!) After a lot of driving around, and being locked out of several apartments, the last one I saw I fell in love with. It's kind of small, but its livable. 

I will be in a neighborhood called "Edgewater." It's pretty far north, but is a half hour from school and work, and 5 miles from North Avenue Beach. PERFECTOOOO! The lease starts Aug 15th, but I won't be able to officially move in until the weekend of the 21st. Kind of shitty paying for rent when you won't even be there, but hey....I got a place to live. 

Friday consisted of nothing but taking care of school business. We had an appointment with the photography advisor at 10am, and were running late. The lady at the desk told us if we were more than 15mins late, we'd have to reschedule. We got off the blue line at 10:10 and literally ran 4 blocks to the wrong building. HA! When we made it there she was with another student and said she would see us in between appointments. THANK GOD! She went over all of the classes I need to start out, and also informed me that I had about 4 core classes I still needed to take. 78 credit hours at Metro, and only 48 of them transfered. I was upset. I still have to take more Math, Science, and History. FML. My photography classes didn't transfer so I had to go see one of the photography administers to see if I could convince him to transfer them. I showed him my portfolio, he said it was "not bad," gave me a quiz, and asked me general questions. Finally he said he was able to transfer one of them as an elective for my major.

Later on, my mom had a convention for work and I wasn't about to sit at the hotel all night so I decided to go to a place called "The Kinetic Playground." I saw online that they were having a hip hop/trance/experimental show going on that night, but when I actually got there, no one was in there except 3 people. Apparently, there was not a show at all. I decided to walk around the area and went into a bar called "The Crew." I was super hungry so I decided to eat and have a couple drinks. All of a sudden the place started getting packed....FULL OF DUDES! At first I was confused, and then realized I was the only girl in the bar, and knew why. I found out later I was in a part of town called, "Boystown," aka Gay central.....nothing like the one in Omaha. I decided to ride the train back to Bucktown and ended up at another bar. I met some guys there from Ohio. The only thing we had in common was the band, "The Black Keys," and they invited me to go to an irish bar with them down the street. I went and met some of their other friends that were actually from Chicago, and just asked them questions about the city. It got to be around 11 and I figured I should probably head back. The train was PACKED. As soon as I got on I put on my head phones and zoned out. The next thing I saw was 2 girls yelling at some dude, throwing shit at him and hitting him. I have no idea what they were saying, but when we came to the next stop the CTA guys kicked the girls off and the guy being harassed handed some other guy $20 and told him thanks and got off the train. The guy handed out $2 to me and everyone around him. People are nuts. 

Saturday, my mom had a convention again all day. I decided to find my way to the beach, and relax. 

It was super crowded. They had volleyball courts, a bar, gift shops, places to eat, and even a dodgeball court. The water was extremely cold, but the sand was just right. I got a call from Office Max while I was layin out saying they would transfer me to their store. =)

The rest of the night I had really bad cramps. So bad, that I couldn't even walk or stand up. Such a bummer.

Sunday, I saw a flyer for the Wicker Park Festival and we decided to go check it out. 

It was very similar to the Summer Arts Festival in Omaha, only better. They had a lot of sidewalk sales and incredible stores. 

Before we headed back to the hotel, I had to see the beach one last time as the sun went down. 

LOOK AT THOSE CLOUDS! 

I'm in love with this city. I'm terrifyingly excited. There's a new chapter in my life ahead...and I can't wait to watch it all unfold. 

I'll be having a going away party August 14 or 16th. I don't have details yet, but it will most likely be a BBQ at my parents house during the day. I'll make a facebook event for it sometime this week. 

MUAH!

"Do I look fat in these jeans?"

It's taken me awhile to actually sit down and write this specific blog. And it's not because I'm targeting one person in particular or because I'm angry in anyway, but because I want you to hopefully see where I'm coming from. 

I've been hanging out with a lot of girls the past couple months. At first this was really uncomfortable for me, and I was socially awkward. (Considering, of course, the last 4 years of my life have revolved around nothing but loud music, and sweaty dudes sitting around talking about how fine the girl that just walked down the street is.) I had no idea what to talk about, or how to even begin to relate to their everyday insecurities and drama filled lives. Everything was a competition, and somehow no one ever won. 

Growing up, I was always the tall, sickly skinny blonde chik who had braces, wore huge glasses and was always stuck in a book. The only thing I can really remember being insecure about, looks-wise, was my face. (Acne took over and planted itself everywhere) Being 13, I didn't have much else to care about, (besides the fact that I wanted huge boobs so guys would like me), so I never really worried about anything else on the outside. I was more scared of the things I said, and how I acted. 

When high school hit, I had a whole world of insecurities (just like everyone else). When I transfered to Millard North for the first time, I had a problem arise that I had never been faced with: Life without uniforms. Suddenly I could wear whatever I wanted to school, and in girl world this just meant who could wear the best jeans, the best shirt, the best shoes, and even breaking it down to who had the best backpack with the best school supplies to match it. Everything was a constant competition. It was like thriving off of compliments everyday so you could prove to yourself that you were in fact "stylish and cool." I also couldn't and didn't feel the need to say things like, "Ugh, my thighs are huge" and "Look at my rolls, they're so gross." (Because we know if I did, people would think I was actually in fact, annorexic.)

As I started attending Metro the fall after I graduated high school, I started learning a lot on this subject. Upon talking about expectations women hold, I announced to my class that I in fact only had 3 good girl friends, and all the rest were guys. My English teacher asked me once, "Why do you think it is you have more guy friends than girl friends?" I told her what I knew from my experiences, that girls tend to be very judgemental, dramatic, and obsessed with how they look. When you're in a room full of guys all the time, they're most likely not going to care what you look like. Besides, if you're attractive and you're the only girl in the room, what do you have to be insecure about? More power to you, right? 

In most ways I think this is why I wasn't your average insecure girl. I never obsessed about the way I looked, because I didn't have any reason to. I never had a girl constantly with me to remind me everyday that I was pretty, to tell me that those jeans don't look good one me, that my hair's beautiful, or that outfits just not me. I based my judgement on myself, by me. (I don't understand why you need me to constantly tell you if you look good or not.) Someone can tell you a million times you're beautiful or that dress looks good on you, but if you can't look in the mirror and say "Damn, I look good" by yourself every once in awhile, you're better off not even looking in the mirror to begin with. It's true you can change the way you look (whether it be working out everyday to gettin boob jobs) but if you don't make any effort to do so, no one wants to hear you bitch about it. 

This is where the confusion lies when I say things like this because I come off as some cocky bitch that thinks she's hot shit. Believe it or not, I'm not. Yes I am confident in the way I look the majority of the time, but that doesn't mean I don't have other insecurities on the inside as well. Everyone has SOMETHING their insecure about, it's just how we were made. It's all about how you choose to look at it. 

Here lies my problem: I've found myself slowly turning into the girls I despise. Because after all, it's easy to be THAT girl. All you have to do is gossip all the time, talk shit about everyone, and talk about how much you hate yourself and the way you look.  It's so annoying.....

I don't enjoy talking shit on other people.

I don't live for the thrill of telling someone someone said this, and someone did this. 

I don't care to hear over and over again about how shitty some guy treats you, when you let him do it. 

I don't care who's fucking who.

I'm not going to base my opinion on someone you know by your opinion, and I'm not going to be a bitch to them just because you don't like them. 

I DON'T LIKE DRAMA. 

Is it the pressure of being like every other crazy dramatic and sensitive girl, or is it the girls I hang out with? 

What do I do? This isn't me....