Dear Omaha,

You have been my home my entire life. You've watched me ride my first bike, see my first stiches, and make my first friend. Everything I was, am and will be, is because of you. You are my backround, my childhood, and some of short lived adulthood.
I've watched myself grow and change so much over the years. It's crazy to look back and think it was just yesterday I was running around with my best girl friends, spying on the neighborhood boys, and blaring our music outside just to be noticed. I was just a kid, full of life, and a million insecurities to come with it.
The first time my heart was broken I was 9. I watched my mom cry for the first time in front of me. Most people think it'll be some boy, or a death in the family, (even though I had my share later on0, but when I saw my mom that hurt, I cried. She was sitting in the bathroom in the kitchen, door closed, with the lights on. I opened the door and asked her what was wrong, and gave her a hug. I remember exactly how her face looked, her eyes watery and puffy, and the way she pulled me closer to her. She said, "I just miss her a lot." I don't know for sure to this day is it was just her mom she was upset about, but to see my mom in that state for the first time was a turning point for me. No one is ever as strong as they appear.
Middle school was the best and worst years of my life. You think everything is crucial to everything. Whether the boy you like is going to say hi to you today, to how you look, to everything you say and do. It was a chance to be silly and have all be all kinds of mixed up on a million different emotions. I wouldn't change anything.
Highschool came and went too fast. Looking back on it now, I can say I had the best time of my life. I had good friends, GREAT friends, the kind of people you wait to meet and when you finally do, you can't believe they actually talk to you. I did aqnd saw a lot of crazy things I would give anything to press rewind and hit play on a random day at school. You spend all of your time hating it, but when its all over, all you wanna do is go back.
Being out of highschool for 2 years now (going on 3), has opened my eyes to a lot of things. People either change and grow up, or they leave themselves to the same shit they've been doin their whole lives. I only talk to a handful of people I graduated with, and I like to think thats for a reason. I've realized that even though you think everything will be the same, nothing is ever the same. You get tired of the same drama, the same issues, the dumb things you thought you escaped from highschool, and you do your own thing.
I saw a lot of old faces I hadn't seen in awhile, and I smiled and said, "Whats up, How are you doin?" to every single one of them. I didn't have any negativity towards anyone, and I get hated on by the majority of the people I thought I didn't have any problems with.
Its a comment here, the sarcastic, "Oh look at me I'm smokin weed," (followed by being ignored the rest of the night), an action there, or a look across the room. It was the girl attached to his hip everytime I entered a room, trying to hurt me in someway that he thinks I'll care, like a 12yr old trying to make me jealous of his new toy. It was the crazy stares from the girl who was intimidated by my very presence of even being there, thinking I'm there to steal the man she doesnt even want, flaunting herself all over every guy there tellin you you got a chance. It was the whispers, the stares that say, "What are you even doing here," the obnoxious immature behavior, the same dumbass girls you sit there and talk shit on, but always seem to find their way the to next party and into the next guys pants.
It's no wonder there's STD's all over here. If you add it up right, everyones hooked up with everyone somehow. You meet people through the people you know already, like highschool. You move on to the next friend, the next girl you've know for awhile, or just met through a friend. It's a cycle that never ends. It just keeps going in a circle.
Omaha, I love you in a sense that you are my home. You will always be there, but right now, I don't like you very much. I will be leaving you sooner than I planned, in a couple of months. At first I will not miss you at all. I just hope that when I come back here, everything won't be the same. I hope that people will have GROWN UP ALREADY. I hope I can appreciate you, but right now I need to leave. I need to find my own way, my own path to myself where everyone here is not attached to me, and doesn't have any connection to me in anyway. Been still tryin to escape the baggage, and I don't even talk to him or them or anyone.
No one probabaly understands where I'm coming from. I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't been out of their house, out of this state, or stayed in a dorm. I've done a good job of isolating myself, and only hanging on to a select group of people. I don't expect anything from anyone anymore. Life is only what you make it, and I'm determined to make it a million times better than this.

It's gotta be.