I'm freakin out and this isn't even the start of whats to come. I put in 30hrs this week at gap. Been there everyday, workin my ass off with new shipment and visuals. It's helpin me wake up earlier and prepare my body for that, so thats good, but DAMN!
Got an interview tom with Convergys. Hopefully...they don't drug test me on the spot, but if they do, hopefully...niacin will work and I'll be good. I'll prolly have another interview with Cox sometime next week too. At this point, I don't think I'm gunna find anything that pays $10 or more besides places like that, and answering phones all day. It sucks, but I gotta do it. Gotta get that moneeey! My life's gunna be completely consumed by work 7 days a week. What else I gotta do? NOOOOTHINNN!!!
On top of all that....Brandon is just adding to it. Exactly what I don't need in my life right now. I don't need someone being all clingy and having all these expectations of me and how I should act. He thinks I treat him like shit, and well...he's right. I just don't care. If I sit there and tell you straight up how the situation is, you can't really expect a whole lot from me. When I got really drunk one night a couple weeks ago, I came home and broke down. Brandon was blowin up my phone and I couldn't take it. I can't even hold hands, kiss, or cuddle, or do ANYTHING without thinking about the past.
I'm trying to separate myself completely and not make it any worse then it already is, and he won't leave me alone. He's a good guy, treats me right, puts me first and everything, but I don't feel anything towards him.
He's not you.
GRRRRRR >=(
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