Thoughts on another Level

So I've been listening to a lot of Atmosphere, (all day, everyday that shit is blastin in my car, when I'm gettin ready, or just chillin at home), and I've been having these crazy dreams. The first one I didn't think too much into it. I was at this wearhouse that was close to a dock with the ocean overlooking it. I saw Sean, and then Ant and a bunch of dudes I didnt recognize. I figured they were about to play a show somewhere around there and just kind of walked over and started talking to them. Sean came off exactly how I imagined he would if I ever met him in real life. He was guarded, didnt give a fuck, but sweet at the same time. At first, he talked to me as if I was just another dumb ass girl that wanted his nuts, and then once we started talking more, he talked to me as if I was his friend. I couldnt tell you what we talked about, but I remember feeling like I was talking to someone I'd known forever, as if he were an old friend. He invited me to join them back stage and chill with them after the show. Then I woke up.
Last night.
I had almost the same dream, just a different location. I was in my basement, but it was the basement I knew before it was finished. (Cement floors, wood staircase, and nothing but open space and a rug on the floor). They were playing in my basement, having a full on live show. There wasnt a stage, or anywhere they could really set up their shit so they just put it in the middle of the floor. There was a bunch of people crowded all over the floor. Everyone formed a circle around them and Sean was in the middle with the mic. He was saying something to the effect of loving every minute of your life no matter what happens next. I was in the front, and he started looking me dead in the eye, pointing and smiling. I smiled back and remember feeling such an overwhelming sense of peace come over me. I started to dance and look at him in the eye. He handed the mic off to a random person in the crowd and walked over to me. He instantly put his arm around me and gave me a hug. We started dancing and the same feeling came over me. (That I had known him forever, that this wasnt awkward or weird, that we connected in some way). I felt as though I was drunk, but didnt remember drinking anything. I pulled out my camera phone and said "I want a pic of us on my phone," and he replied saying, "Girl! I want a pic of us on my phone!" and laughed. We started taking a bunch of pictures of eachother, dancing, hugging, and kissing. Before I knew it we were upstairs in my living room. He started to put his hands around my waist and I felt his fingers slip under my jeans on my hip bones. I felt a tingling sensation (like I always do, in general when someone does that) and I remembered I hadn't shaved. (I think you know what I mean here....) I quickly said, "Ooooooooo I will be RIGHT back," and he said, "What? Where are you going?" I immediately saw where this was going to go and I said, "Don't worry, I'll be right back in like...10mins." I quickly ran upstairs to my bathroom. I began shaving as fast as I could. I was so excited and my mind was going crazy with all these thoughts in my head.
6:40 am my alarm goes off.
I try to pretend I dont hear it. I try to go back to sleep, but it's too loud. I immediately get mad and set it for 7:10, shut it off, and lay back down. I shut my eyes and hope that I can slip back into sleep, and back into my dream. I am unsucessful. My mind tries to escape back into it, and it can't.
You have no idea how angry I was. So close to a sex dream.....and it was totally ruined by my alarm clock. AHHHHH!!!

But anyway....


I've been finding myself writing a lot lately. (Mostly ryhmes and poetry) I figure if I don't share my thoughts with as many people anymore, I might as well write what I'm feeling. PLUS when you stand at a register all day and don't have anything to do after cleaning, doing whats asked of you, and finding things to do.......you get bored. It's been constant this whole week, writing at work, writing when I get off work and before I go to sleep. It's awesome because I feel like my old self again. Thats what I used to do alllllllll the time. I would post a bunch of it, but the majority of it is of one subject and I'm trying to move away from that because no one wants to hear the same shit over and over again in different ways. Am I right? But eventually I will find the balls to put it up here. I just get really self concious about it and only let certain people read it.


More to come soon.

Peace and One.