My Response

Today was the first day I actually cried over you since St. Patty's Day.
I cried because I can't even talk to you anymore, because of what you wrote, and because of everything else thats going on in my life.


I never said you never cared, nor do I think that, cuz I know you did.
Do I think you care about me now? Of course not.


I UNDERSTAND why things didn't work out.
I UNDERSTAND why they CAN'T.

Am I hurt? Fuck yeah. EVERYDAY I THINK ABOUT YOU.
Am I angry? Fuck yeah. I want to scream at you and say everything hurtful I can think of but I won't. I've got more class than that, and I've learned from past experiences that that doesn't do any good.


I made a mistake, but really...did you ever want to be in a relationship with me in the first place? No. I knew this for a fucking year, and I stuck around. I could've, (and probably should've) said fuck that, but I didn't. I believed in us, and believed we could get through it.

Am I going around getting drunk all the time and fucking everyone and being a make out whore? FUCK NO. Does it have anything to do with you? FUCK NO.


No girl should ever be the girl on the side, the best friend fuck buddy, waiting to get attention, and needing affection, but never getting it.


Just because a girl wants you to say something, doesn't mean you should, ESPECIALLY if you know how SENSITIVE that girl is to those words.
And did you explain the truth to me? No.

What I DON'T understand is why it was necessary to post that for everyone to see.
I DON'T understand what "cut the line" means, and apparently it means not trying to talk to me, deleting me from your myspace, and cutting me right out of your life.
I DON'T understand why you would say the most hurtful thing you could possibly say to me, and not give a shit.
I DON'T understand why you never wanted to be with me.
I DON'T understand why everyone I get close to LEAVES.
and I DON'T understand how I'm supposed to move on, and why you already have.


The truth is....you never wanted to be with me in the first place, and I fucked myself over by sticking around. All you care about is your music, your friends, and your family. I don't fit anywhere in there, nor did I ever.

I'm just not capable of being loved by anyone. Not my family, my friends, and not even you. I know you might say..."well thats not true," but I'm finding more and more everyday that it is. Thats why I have given up on relationships completely. I don't know what it is about me that people find so hard for themselves to fall for me, stay with me, and love me.


You wanted to move to Minnesota, you wanted to say fuck everything thats here and peace out, you wanted to be by yourself, you wanted to cut the line, you wanted to do whatever the fuck YOU WANTED TO DO, like always. You're selfish and you always will be, and its not gunna get you anywhere except alone.


Thats all I have to say